CHRIST! His Last Temptation

by Greg Twait and Eric Schwartz

 

originally performed in “They’re

Just Monkeys With Hairspray

December 1992

 

 

(LIGHTS ARE STILL BLACK)

 

ANNCR:

(Possibly Eric at Piano) After spending half the money

he made on PHANTOM OF THE OPERA and wasting the other

half producing ASPECTS OF LOVE, Andrew Lloyd-Weber has

finally returned to his popular musicals. In the vein

of JOSEPH AND HE TECHNICOLOUR DREAMCOAT and JESUS

CHRIST SUPERSTAR comes: CHRIST! HIS LAST TEMPTATION.

 

It's Andrew Lloyd-Weber's latest chance to sleep with

the Tony Awards judges! Featuring cheesy, stupid ,

inappropriate songs such as:

 

(LIGHTS UP)

 

(The cast stands with their backs to the audience.

As each cast member begins their piece they spin around.)

 

KEN:  It Was the last                             

(The Last)                                  

Temptation of Christ

 

MATT: It Was the last                             

(The Last)                                  

Temptation of Christ

 

DALE: It Was the last                             

(The Last)                                  

Temptation of Christ

 

 

(Badly choreographed dance)

 

 

ANNCR: And who can forget the timeless:

 

 

CAST: Be - our - Christ

Be our Christ

We need to reach our paradise

There's only one way to heaven and your life

will suffice

At the Sermon on the Mount

The people we far too vast to count

They all came to Galilee

To hear Jesus scream and shout

 

MATT: Try the loaves

 

KEN: Try the fishes

 

DALE: Don't believe me? Ask the masses

 

(Badly choreographed dance)

 

CAST: Stone - by - stone

one by one

all like children in the sun

 

MATT: On this rock I build my temple

 

DALE: But that Judas, what a scum.

 

 

CAST: We adore you

be our boss

to lose you would be such a loss

But if it gets us into heaven

Get your rear up on that cross

 

Be our Christ

      Be our Christ

Be our Christ

Be our Christ!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah!

 

 

BLACKOUT!

 

 

ANNCR: CHRIST! now and forever at the Arie Crown theater.