Ground Breaking

Thank you, Mr. Mayor.

Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to thank you all for that warm welcome. You know, sitting back there waiting to be called, I was struck by what a perfect moment this is in history. We are standing on the leading edge of a new age, preparing to take our first tenative steps into a new world...

Mmmmm. Man. I'm sorry. I was sitting back there a while waiting to be called and... well, I don't mean to be indelicate... but the minute I stood up I realized that I really have to pee.  Sorry. Sorry. Where was I?

Right, I am proud to be here for the ground breaking on the first all-green powered water treatment plant. It is the first of it's kind in the world and we are witness to history. MMMMM!! Er... the wait staff just kept refilling my water... and I dehydrate real easy... *puff puff puff * OK. Sorry. In six months when this plant opens millions of gallons of reclaimed water will... course into this facility which will run completely on solar energy.

Then the water will .... HOOOOOO! ... wash away through pipes made of recycled copper to provide pure, clear water to thousands of homes. The stuff of  life ... oh Jesus... bubbling from taps, hoses, showerheads and mmmmmmmm fuck! trickling over the hands of our children.

Okay... let me do some fast editing... damn, it hurts... I am so afraid of kidney failure... Um...rivers... NO! Streaming... Okay, a little just leaked out, so... in conclusion... good job on the plant! I... gotta go.

Thank you.