TALES, TRIALS & TIDBITS OF CHOCO-FOOT

 

Choco-Foot likes the moonlight on the lake. He likes the way his growl echoes in the canyon. Choco-Foot is a romantic.

 

Choco-Foot doesn't like white wine. He's a merlot Choco-Foot.

 

Choco-Foot avoids fire.

 

Choco-Foot thinks his nose is too big, but his mom says it's fine.

 

Choco-Foot invented the Blackberry... and the intercontinental ballistic missle and chicken flavored crackers. Choco-foot hates Todd.

 

Choco-Foot likes the way you smell.

 

Choco-Foot didn't eat it! He saw that your initials were on the carton and he put it back. Choco-Foot places blame at Tonya's feet.

 

I saw Choco-Foot on the crosstown bus. He pretty much ignored me, but that's our way. We call it our "poach".

 

Choco-Foot tips generously at Chili's and Friday's but not a Bennigan's. He says that all the Bennigan's servers are "inferior stock". Silly

 

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and Choco-Foot will devour the soul of your enemies... and donate canned goods.

 

Choco-Foot goes through lots of hand sanitizer.

 

Choco-Foot doubts the validity of M-Theory

 

Late in the day, when his blood sugar dips low, Choco-Foot starts rubbing his elbows on the wall calling them his skin balloons. Oh no!

 

In the places where the little ambling foreticklers grow, Choco-Foot is king. Choco-Foot has 3 shins.

 

Choco-Foot never learned to multiply by 7

 

I'll meet you in the food court, Choco-Foot! Right by the Jamba Juice. And don't use the Visa!! I have to pay it down. Eeew, what was that?

 

Choco-Foot hibernates for fourteen days out of the year. But to keep people on their toes, the days are scattered all over with no pattern.

 

When Choco-Foot licks things, it's a self defense mechanism.

 

Choco-Foot isn't the dreaming, beaming kind. He's the last one in the boat when the balast bursts. He kicks things he doesn't understand.

 

Choco-Foot keeps loose change in a cup in the kitchen. The cup reads "best boss in the world". It's not his, but he's not talking.

 

Choco-Foot will please you... if you want him too. He cooks with a lot of sage.

 

Choco-Foot agrees with you in spirit but the problems are daunting. So, he's going to stand still until he blends into the backdrop. shhh

 

The bubbles tickle Choco-Foot's nose.

 

Choco-Foot, in the wild, lives on dashberries, rundle root and fresh water halikuhk. In town he lives on energy drinks and string cheese.

 

When the world was young, Choco-Foot took delight in the simple things. Now, can you validate my parking?

 

Choco-Foot likes awesome blossom onions.

 

Choco-Foot is nomadic. He likes the open road and truckstop food... and truckstop waitresses. He's on anti-biotics.

 

I don't think that was necessary, Choco-Foot. Why don't you sit there for a little while and think about what you did.

 

If you leave your campfire unattended - Choco-Foot will use your fire to burn socks he steals from local clothes lines. He likes the thrill

 

Choco-Foot knows how to pick 'em. Lemons eh? What're ya going to do?

 

Choco-Foot has artifacts.

 

Choco-Foot thinks the world revolves around Tim.

 

Choco-Foot's Confirmation name is Tad. Choco-Foot Tad *spill something viscous*-Lawson. That's our Choco-Foot.

 

Choco-Foot keeps extra jellies in his pocket. Mixed Fruit. mmmmmmm

 

Choco-Foot throw rock at sunshine. Balance checkbook. Consume souls. Choco-Foot have full day.

 

Choco-Foot likes jogging shorts. He doesn't wear them, he dusts with them.

 

Hi. You've reached Choco-Foot's phone. Please leave a message at the tone and Choco-Foot will scream at the sun for an hour

 

Choco-Foot wants his balloon.

 

Choco-Foot's best friend in college was a wombat named Nostril Portnoy. They had a falling out in '87 over a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue.

 

Sometimes Choco-Foot will balance on his forehead and elbows in order to drink upside down. Crazy Choco-Foot you lighten my heart.

 

Choco-Foot's printer sounds like it's ripping the wool out of a sheep by hand. Get that thing fixed, Choco-Foot! Get it fixed like the wind.

 

Some nights Choco-Foot thinks he smells toast. He crawls out of his leaf bed and stumbles around, bleary-eyed, looking for toast.

 

Choco-Foot lacks an adequate range of motion. He lacks an adequate range of pants. He listens to raw liver the girl left on the stoop. Pssh

 

Choco-Foot looked up and saw the brilliant light. He climbed the highest tree in the forest to try and get close to the light & lick it.

 

Choco-Foot hasn't gotten up yet. It was a late night and he ate a lot of food. He could be out for a while. Can you make the coffee for him?

 

I caught Choco-Foot Twittering in Church. God knows you're Twittering Choco-Foot... and Hell doesn't have wi-fi. You gonna eat all that?

 

You wanna dance, Choco-Foot? You wanna shake your money makers? This is the best wedding ever, eh Choco-Foot. I'm sorry about your cat.

 

Choco-Foot kicks it old school. Kicks it hard. Stomps the hot lovin' crap out of it. Choco-Foot demolishes it old school.

 

You have traveled far, Choco-Foot. Come. Sit down. Rest your neckties and drink from the good faucet. Our destinies are joined in this bag.