PETS!

by Eric

LIGHTS UP

(MO and BEN are dressed like they should be in a Mountain Dew

commercial.)

MO: You're 28 years old. You feel trapped by a high tech

desk job. But you've got the money to feel free.

BEN: You snow board. You sky dive, rock climb bungee jump

and roller blade.

MO: You drink gallons of gourmet coffee and pop ginseng

tablets like they're pez.

BEN: You suck on mints that are strong enough to kill a good

size monkey.

MO: If you're a woman... you smoke cigars and emulate the

worst behavior of men.

BEN: You listen to industrial music like Prodigy and The

Chemical Brothers.

MO: You live fast and hard.

BEN: You are EXTREME!

BOTH: Extreme!!!

MO: But still there's a void in your adrenaline riddled

life.

BEN: You need a pet. An...

BOTH: EXTREME PET!

MO: Extreme pets!!!

BEN: Extreme pets!!

MO: We've got a parrot that can whomp your ass in racquetball.

BOTH: Extreme Pets!!

BEN: We've got gold fish specially bred to live in bong water.

BOTH: Extreme Pets!

MO: How about love birds that engage in tantric sex!?

BOTH: EXTREME PETS!

BEN: Anybody can have a pet!

MO: But not you. You need a pet that fits you.

BEN: Don't settle for a boring old domestic pet!

MO: You need...

BOTH: Extreme Pets!!

LIGHTS DOWN

ANNCR: Extreme Pets. From the makers of EXTREME GRANDPARENTS and EXTREME PAJAMAS!