8 Ball, Front Pocket
by Josh
(at a restaurant)
JULIE: You know, Will, Ive been having a really good time.
WILL: (smiles and takes a drink)
JULIE: I mean, for the past month that weve been going out, I have just felt better than ever. It's so good to meet a man who is so confident, and so assertive.. you know, you are the first guy I've ever had a relationship with that always gives me a straight answer, even when you aren't sure
of something. I always feel so secure when Im with you.
WILL: (smiling, shrugs if off) Thanks, Julie.
JULIE: Oh, Will…do you love me?
WILL: Well…(pauses, looks down for a second, then smiles) Yes.
JULIE: That's just what I mean. You always know the right answers. I dont know what Id do without
you…tell me you wont ever leave me.
WILL: (looks, smiles) Very doubtful.
JULIE: (tearing) And you're so funny, too. I don't know how we found each other, but I'm glad we did.
WAITER: (enters) Is the lovely couple ready to order?
WILL: (looks down) Most likely.
JULIE: Actually, I havent had much of a chance to look at the menu. Could you give us a few more
minutes?
WAITER: Absolutely, Madam.
JULIE: Everything sounds so good. Do you know what you're going to get, honey?
WILL: (same action) Better not tell you now.
JULIE: (giggling) Oh, I get it, you want to play games, huh? You're so nasty! Well, how about I guess
what you want.
WILL: (smiles and shrugs) If you want to.
JULIE: I think you want the Chicken Char-broil. Well?
WILL: (looks down, then apologetic) Don't count on it.
JULIE: (a little taken aback) Oh. Well, how about the Swordfish Steak?
WILL: (down) Reply hazy, try again.
JULIE: Oh…okay. Is it the shrimp and crab salad?
WILL: (down) Cannot predict now.
JULIE: I thought you said you knew what you were going to get.
WILL: (a little flustered and nervous) I was just fooling with you.
JULIE: (trying to blow it off) Oh, well. How about if you just order for both of us? I'm going to go fix
myself up a little bit. Don't go anywhere, okay?
WILL: (checks down) Ask again later.
JULIE: (stops, looks at him strangely, then exits)
WILL: (slams head on table) I don't think she likes me. I just screwed it up, I know it. I'm not concentrating hard enough! Oh, what do I do? (pulls out 8 ball from under table) You gotta tell me. Is it even worth it now? I mean, is it too late? I guess what I really want to know is, does she like me. (turns over 8 ball) yes, definitely! Oh, man, I was so worried for a minute there. She's so great. (sighs) She's freshening up for me. I've never had a girl do that. I bet she looks gorgeous when she's fixing her hair and straightening her clothes and everything. (looks at 8
ball) As I see it yes? You mean you can see her now, in the bathroom?! That's right! I forgot you're all-powerful! Oh, wow, that's awesome!
JULIE: (entering) Will, is everything alright?
WILL: (slams 8 Ball under menu, thinks for a moment, then happily) Everything is fine.
JULIE: I was thinking, what do you say that after dinner we go back to my place for drinks or
something?
WILL: That sounds…ahhhhh…I would…that'd be…(looks under menu) You may rely on it!
WAITER: (entering) The young lady is back, good. What can I get for you tonight?
(pause while Will is looking in lap, slapping the 8 ball between his legs, trying to get an answer)
JULIE: Will? Are you ready?
WILL: (not getting an answer) Ahhhh, what do you recommend?
WAITER: The Scallops and Basil Chef's Choice is very nice. It comes with rice and cherry dressing for
the baked oyster and choice of ranch salad or fruit plate…
(Will is all the while shaking the ball and trying to get an answer)
JULIE: Will?
WILL: (taken by surprise) Yes?
WAITER: (after a questioning pause) Excellent choice, sir.
WILL: …Thank you.
JULIE: Are you okay, Will?
WILL: Oh, yeah, yeah, I was just, you know, off in la la land for a minute, that's all. (laughing it off,
slides 8 ball back on table under napkin)
JULIE: Actually, Will, what do you think of maybe just skipping dinner. I'm not sure I can eat anything
anyway, because…well, because I've been thinking about something for a long time now. I know
we have only been seeing each other for a month, but I've never been more sure of anything in
my life. And tha'ts why, I know this will sound strange coming from me, but…will you marry
me?
WILL: (stammering) Oh, oh, my my, whaaaa,eeeee, (trying to look under napkin for answer)
JULIE: (grabs wills hands under napkin) Just tell me, Will. Just tell me…(pulling napkin off their
hands, feeling something weird) Just tell me why you're holding a magic 8 ball, Will.
WILL: (stammers even harder) This? This is just…I was holding it because…because I had to…you
know…
JULIE: Will, why did you bring a toy out on a date with you? Is there something you should be telling
me?
WILL: Whaa…it's not a toy, ya see…it is here so that, if I or I mean when I have to…you know…
JULIE: (unbelievably) Wait a minute, wait a minute, Will. Youre telling me that you have been using
this stupid thing? Youve been consulting an 8 ball when were out together?
WILL: Well, I just…I had to…it was only…
JULIE: You are using this stupid thing to answer questions I ask you? (angry) You were using this to
decide if you love me or not?!
WILL: No, it wasn't only that, I was just wondering…it only was for my…I had to use it if I…
JULIE: Alright, fine!! Let's try it then! (taking 8 ball) oh, Mr. 8 ball, are men like William pigs and
deserve to die? (looks at 8 ball) You're damn right Signs Point To yes! Should I forgive this man for embarrassing and humiliating me? (looks at 8 ball) Well, what do you know will, it says No. I'll tell you what, William, I am prepared to go out on a limb here and try and forget about this whole thing. I am going to ask you one more time, and then I'll walk away. Will…will you marry me?
WILL: (struggling) Yes…?
JULIE: (drops 8 ball on table) Oh, Will! (they hug)
WILL: (glances at 8 ball on table, smiles) You may rely on it.
BLACKOUT